The (panto) King’s Christmas message

It’s a time of year when we all get to wear crowns on our heads – made from flimsy paper, spilled from a corny joke and tacky toy laden cracker.

But I’ve got the chance to wear a real one, at least in pantoland and your imagination, as King Richard.

If you’re coming to Sheringham Little Theatre’s festive fun involving Robin Hood, I’m part of the show. You won’t see me, but my voice is part of the happy-ever-after ending action.

Another panto, which shall be nameless, has secured cookery and football icon Delia Smith as its Great Spirit voice. But you’ll have to settle for me – a mostly retired journalist, but active member of the theatre board of trustees. And most important, in these times of rising costs, I’m free.

I did it once before 10 years ago with my soundtrack role following the year after acting legend Sir John Hurt was the voice of the Magic Mirror. Big shoes to follow, but I did my best. Alas, neither film nor radio roles followed, so I had to keep on writing.

But don’t let that put you off visiting this cracking show. Please buy your tickets now! Let’s be having you!

So this Christmas, as the venue revisits the classic forest frolic with a different twist, I’m back on the theatrical throne. I have recorded my 15 seconds of fame in the dressing room with director Nick Earnshaw.

In a bid to get into character I asked if he wanted my voice to be regal or my natural Norfolk. Somewhere in the middle was the answer.

So if my few lines have a “looocal twang” about them rather than a clipped and precise King’s English, thas woy hentit.

I have been known to be a bit of a Grinch, and a pantophobe – fearing being dragged up on stage to do a dance routine, which is the stuff of nightmares.

But I must be softening as I enjoy the Sheringham show and didn’t hesitate when asked to do an encore of my role as King Richard I, the Lionheart. Even if my lines don’t make you roar, there are plenty that will, and I am pleased to be a tiny cog in a mighty mirth machine that will entertain you this festive season.

Anyway, my loyal subjects, I hearby decree that you MUST attend the panto … not because I’m in it, but because it will be a right royal riot of fun!

A Merry Christmas to you all.

King Richard Batson